The girls were thriving. They should have......they were the only ones getting any sleep. Every day were changes....little things like grasping a toy, the smiling recognition of our familiar faces, and the first garbled coo. These were big things because the list of possible defects still were lurking over our shoulder. And then there were the dreaded monitors. It seemed like no matter what I did, those blasted things were squealing. There's just nothing like that scream at three in the morning to get your heart pumping. The machines checked their heart and breathing at all time. Their baths had to be timed so they didn't go over the alloted time for the monitors to be off them. I began to hate.... Then finally we got to take them off after months. This strange thing happened......I missed them. It had been a comfort to know if one of them quit breathing, the alarm would go off. Now we began lying in bed listening for their breathing and getting up dozens of times to check on them.
I've glossed over a lot in the last blog. We were "visited" at least twice a week, not counting phone calls from various agencies. I looked up one day to a women peering in our front window, watching the twins in their playpen. When asked, she said she was just checking on us and she had a cold that she didn't want to spread it to the twins. I was told the twins could be put in foster care in several conversations. Talk about Big Brother!!
Chuck and I came to the understanding that as long as our daughter had custody of the twins, they were in jeopardy. Though she didn't want the day to day responsibility, she wanted the title of mother, so I prepared for a battle.....that never happened. She signed her rights over to us with very little problem. I really don't know what we would have done if she would have fought us but I do know, we weren't letting the twins go anywhere.
We had nearly a year of stress and uncertainty before the adoption was finalized. The girls spent their first birthday with diva crowns, their family and new names. Kayla Elizabeth Roye and Alyssa Grace Roye (I won't tell you their original names and have that seared forever in your brain) were here to stay.
to be continued.......