After calling Chuck and telling him he better sit down, reality set in. One baby's chance of survival wasn't good...with twins, it was virtually nonexistent. I could not allow myself to visualize them as actually babies...that was my way of coping. The only thing in their favor was they had longer to grow since her delivery date was set as December.
In September, she was put in the hospital in Oklahoma City, mainly because no doctor in this area would touch this ticking bomb. The presciptions she had taken and continued to take while pregnant were all extremely harmful to the fetuses. She still was not "showing." I had not bought so much as a diaper and this black cloud was with me constantly. Chuck and I discussed cemetery plots.
I had to do all the gloom and doom to get to this part.
One day it hit me right between the eyes. This was my life.....I could go through it thinking "why me??" ...or I could find my sense of humor and hang on with both hands, and refuse to be drug down. If I was going to believe that God could and would get us through this, I had to quit worrying because that negated my belief and trust in Him. ....So....I quit worrying...just like that. That's not to say I didn't wonder where we were heading but I just let it be.....and it was. Believe it or not, that was the most peaceful time.
The Dynamic Duo were born October 11, 2009, breathing on their own and at about 2 1/2 lbs. each, looking like perfect little china dolls. They had lasted 29 weeks of their 40 week gestation...that was pretty dynamic.
to be continued......